Christmas for Singles in Ireland and the UK: A Survival Guide

Plan Christmas Day, even if the plan is simple

The 25th is the day where having no plan tends to hurt most. Decide in advance where you will be and who with. Many people go to family, some to friends, and some spend the day on their own on purpose and enjoy it. All of those are fine. What matters is that it is a choice and not something that happens to you.

If you are on your own, make the day feel like a day. Cook something you love, take a long walk, call someone, watch the film you never have time for. Most pubs in Ireland traditionally close on Christmas Day, and many shops and services shut in both countries, so sort out food and transport ahead of time. If you want company, there are community lunches and volunteering options in many towns, so ask at a local church, library or community centre early on.

• Decide where you will be and with whom, at least a week ahead.
• Stock up so you are not relying on anything being open.
• Schedule a phone or video call with someone you care about.
• Get outside at some point. A Christmas Day walk or swim is a tradition in many places.

Use the days after Christmas

The 26th, known as St Stephen's Day in Ireland and Boxing Day in the UK, is often the best social day of the season. Many people are free, the pressure of the 25th is over, and pubs and homes fill up. Matches, walks, swims, films and open houses all happen. In Irish towns, it is often a big night out for people who are home for the holidays.

The days between Christmas and New Year can be sleepy, so put something in each one: a long walk, a meal with a friend, the January sales if that is your thing. In Ireland, Nollaig na mBan, or Women's Christmas, falls on 6 January. It is a lovely tradition and a good excuse to gather friends. Having a few small events in the diary breaks up the empty days.

Handling family questions

If relatives are likely to ask about your love life, have a short, friendly line ready. 'Nothing to report, but I'm having a good time' works. So does a quick change of subject: ask them about their own plans or the family news. You do not owe anyone a progress report.

If a particular person tends to push, a calm 'I'd rather not talk about it today' is fine. If it gets too much, step outside for a walk or help with the washing-up. And if family time is hard for other reasons, give yourself permission to leave early, or to build in breaks.

Meeting people without making it a mission

Christmas is a natural time to catch up with people, and some of those catch-ups turn into something. Say yes to invitations, including from friends of friends. Local events such as carol services, markets, charity events and pub sessions are good, low-pressure places to chat.

If you use an app, keep it light. Cravnn is a meetup and dating app for Ireland and the UK, free to join, in open beta and for adults aged 18 and over. You can chat by text or voice note, join the community feed to see what is on, and use Meet Safe to share your live location with trusted contacts during a meet-up. Treat it as a way to find company over the holidays, not as a pressure to find a partner by New Year.

• Say yes to invitations, even the unexpected ones.
• Go to a carol service, market or local event with a friend.
• Meet new people in public places and tell a friend where you are.

If it all feels too much

Christmas can bring up loneliness, grief and old memories. That is common. Reach out, even if only with a short message, and tell someone how you are feeling. Many people feel the same and are relieved when somebody else says it first.

If you need to talk to someone, the Samaritans are on 116 123, free from Ireland and the UK, every day of the year including Christmas Day. If you are worried about your mental health, contact your GP when the surgery reopens, or use out-of-hours services in an emergency. You do not have to cope alone.