Christmas Party Season: How to Meet People Without the Cringe

Say yes more than usual

In December, invitations arrive from all directions, and the temptation is to turn most of them down because you are tired. Try to say yes to a few more than normal, especially those that involve people you do not know well. A friend's party, a colleague's drinks, a neighbour's get-together, a club or society Christmas social.

Friends of friends are especially valuable. Parties are one of the few settings where you meet people with a built-in recommendation, because somebody you trust knows them. Even if you stay for an hour, you may leave with a new contact and a plan.

• Say yes to a few more invitations than you normally would.
• Ask the host to introduce you to one or two people.
• Bring something small, such as a bottle or a box of treats, so you have a reason to arrive and something to talk about.

How to actually talk to people at a party

You do not need clever lines. Ask an open question: 'How do you know the host?', 'Have you got plans for Christmas?', 'What are you hoping for in the new year?' Then listen, and ask a follow-up. Most people are happy to talk about themselves, and a good listener is memorable.

Move around rather than staying in the same corner with the same mates. Stand near the food or drinks, where people drift in and out, and join groups that are open at the edges. If a conversation dries up, say it was nice to chat and head for the next one. Do not worry about getting it perfect.

Surviving the work Christmas party

Work parties are social events with professional consequences. Enjoy yourself, but remember that colleagues will still be around in January. Pace your drinking, eat something, and avoid venting about the job, your boss or other colleagues. The classic regrets involve too much alcohol and too much honesty.

If you fancy someone from work, think carefully before acting on it in front of everyone. A kiss at the party can become awkward on Monday morning, and workplace policies may apply. If you want to see where it goes, a calm conversation sober a few days later is a safer start. Always respect boundaries and consent. Not everyone is comfortable with attention at work events.

• Set yourself a drink limit before you go, and stick to it.
• Avoid gossip and complaints about colleagues.
• Plan how you are getting home, and leave when you have had enough.
• Treat everyone with respect, including people you do not know well.

Other places to meet people in December

Beyond parties, the season brings plenty of events: Christmas markets in towns and cities, carol services, charity swims, volunteering, community lunches, pub quizzes with a festive theme, craft fairs, and the lights switch-on in many towns. They are easy places to chat, because there is something to look at and talk about.

Apps can be part of the mix. Cravnn is a meetup and dating app for Ireland and the UK, in open beta and free to join, for adults aged 18 and over. You can use the community feed to see what is going on, chat with people before you meet, and use Meet Safe to share your live location with trusted contacts during a meet-up. Meet new people in public places and let a friend know where you are.

Following up after the party

A good conversation at a party can disappear if nobody follows up. If you get on well with someone, swap numbers or social handles on the night, and send a short message in the next day or two. 'Great to meet you at the party, I'd love to carry on the conversation. Are you free for a coffee next week?' is clear and friendly.

Be specific, because December diaries are full and vague plans fall away. Suggest a particular day and place, and be flexible. If the first suggestion does not work, offer another. If you hear nothing back, do not take it personally. People are busy, and you can try once more in the new year.